Monday, September 18, 2006

Honey, I'm home! ...or 10 steps to bankrupt yourself in 4 months.

1. Be an Actor
2. Go on profitshare tours that last 3,5 months
3. Go on a holiday you can't afford
4. Come back from Holiday and decide to do more unpaid acting work
5. Move house
6. Let your housing association charge you extra fees they never mentioned
7. Help someone out, then let them F*** you over for money
8. The girl at the bar is cute...
9. Oversleep on your first day back to work

When all else fails try the one I haven't had the guts to yet:

10. Marry, arrive home early, find your wife in bed with another actor (musician, forearm-tatooed biker...). Then pay the legal fees for the divorce and her deserved psycho-therapy (after all, you did see her naked, didn't you?).

...Hello Boys and Girls!

Well, I've just been through steps 1-9, so apologies for not posting lately. However, as I now live in a place that has internet I'll tell you all about the last few months in the next couple of posts.

To be honest, I have had a ball lately! Unfortunately my plan to hypnotise my bank manager, make him give me all the money and then make him squawk like a chicken has failed.

Lemme hear your best money-wasting stories!



Anonymous said...

Well. How about...

1. Be a journalist.
2. Work your ass off as a freelancer for a small salary.
3. Do a lot of overtime without getting paid for it.
4. Go on short-trips to Football matches you can't afford
5. In your sparely free-time do unpaid press promotion for musicians you believe in
6. Think about moving to Hamburg
7. Help someone out, then let them F*** you over for money
8. The boy at the bar is cute...
9. Book another flight to another Football match you can't afford
10. Wait for Robbie Williams to knock you up and pay millions of alimony

Good to have you back :-)

Chris Rogers said...

Hi Sweety,

Nice to see you again too! However, if you're paying the drinks for the boy at the bar you're seriously doing something wrong! ;)

Anonymous said...

Hell no! I'll never pay someone's drinks. Why should I? I never pay for my own ones...!

But listen:
Stupid men cost a lot of money even if you don't pay their drinks. 'Cause if they let you down you need a lot of money for getting your hair done, for hours of shopping and, of course, for a lot of booze to make you happy again ;-)

Chris Rogers said...

Haha, I suppose you got a point. I just found out that oversleeping on your second day to work ain't great either. Gotta get myself another alarm clock, I keep turning this one off in my sleep...

Anonymous said...

You should've brought this Russian alarm clock you used to have when we where younger..